Hello my dear Tania, I believe I am writing you again because things aren’t well… I may feel better if I only talk to you… I just need to know that someone is there for me and actually understands me. I am feeling the worst lately, I am feeling sad, all depressed, tired, and I feel like I can’t breathe lately. You know that I am an horrible person and I actually criticize myself very much, but because I feel like if I do that maybe I’ll get better. For example I hate being inferior than other people, but I am feeling like that everytime that I know that my supposed “friends” (because they tell it to me not because I ask, otherwise they would know I feel the WORST!) did get a better score than I in some subject, I feel horrible, I don’t want to be like that, but I do feel like that, because I know that I want to be better than them but I just can’t, I don’t know why…But I never can’t, and it makes me so sad, that they are more intelligent than I, or better than I. I just want to be a bit more smart, and show to them that I am actually good… So why can’t I be good enough? After all that a do to make sure I will be the best. It just doesn’t work… I feel so sad, lately I just want to cry forever! I even talked to my poor mum and she is so nice to me, so kind (I am so sorry, to tell you this, because I know you don’t have actually the luck I have and I know I am being such an horrible and selfish person. Please forgive me honey) . My mum, she forgives me all the time, she just want me to be happy, and when I cry in front of her I know I am being weak, and I don’t want to show it to her… I don’t want to be weak… You understand me Tania? I wish I could be as strong as you… I really wish, but I guess I am already fighting for a long time… I am just tired … I am sorry dear, I just wanted to talk to you how I feel, because I know you would listen to me… Thank you so much for being there all the time, even for a stranger like me who actually doesn’t deserve it at all…
Many kisses for you* and hugs*
@lianocas - Hello my lovely! I’m so sorry it’s taken so long for me to reply to you :( But I really hope you can forgive me for that!
And sweetie, please don’t apologise for asking for help! It’s so sad to hear that things aren’t getting much better for you, especially as you’re such a sweet girl, but I’m so pleased that you’ve come back to me for help and I’ll do whatever I can as many times as I need to to make you happier! ♥
Now firstly, YOU ARE NOT A HORRIBLE PERSON! So stop thinking that way about yourself!! You’re an extremely lovely and caring girl who’s just going through a rough time, and when things like this happen and when we find ourselves feeling down, it’s so easy to think of ourselves in a negative light! So firstly you have to get rid of the thought that you’re a horrible person, because, trust me Lili, you really are not!
Now, self criticism is a hard topic and I understand exactly how you feel - that the more you put yourself down, the harder you’ll work and the better you’ll become… However, sometimes, finding the balance between positive criticism and completely shooting ourselves down is hard! Which is why I advise that you do talk to your mum however hard that may be to you Lili. From what you’ve told me, she seems to really care about you and I know that if you talk to her about how you’re feeling, she’ll definitely give you an honest opinion!
And my lovely, wanting to be more successful than those around us is just something in human nature! It doesn’t make you selfish or any less of a good person, it shows that you have determination and ambition and you should proud of that! If you find that you can’t be better than them, if it really matters to you then try as hard as you can to get where you want to be but never ever ever get carried away by that! Be proud of who you are and what you can achieve - that’s what makes you you! You are good enough, so don’t believe otherwise based on grades! The person that you are makes you amazing okay? :) ♥
I know that it’s hard to think otherwise Lili my lovely! Sometimes when, like you say, we’ve been fighting for so long, it seems like there’s nothing left for us. We can feel so worthless and so down and all we feel like doing is crying… But remember dearie that you have so much about you to be proud of! Getting worse grades than your friends should not make you feel like you’re the worst!
You are one extremely strong girl Lili, you are not weak at all! All you need is a little bit more confidence in yourself, to see just how incredible you are. You deserve so much more happiness than you have right now and the key to that is self-confidence! So just talk to your mum about how you feel and I’m sure she’ll try and help you as much as she can my lovely!
But please stay strong, don’t give up on yourself and please come back to me if there’s anything more you need dearie! I’ll always always be here to help you and give you the happiness you deserve. You’re one amazing girl Lili!
Stay strong, keep smiling, and much love and hugs ♥ xx
It’s summer, the season of fun and I want all of you lovelies out there to set yourself a goal for this month to try to make yourself happier!
For example, you can try to stop cutting for the first week of this month, or, aim to love yourself and your body and get out there in your shorts!
Start this month with the most positive attitude you’ve ever had! Remember you’re beautiful, remember that you’re worth it and remember that you’re loved! You. Are. AMAZING!! <3
So happy summer my lovelies, stay strong, be happy and enjoy the life you have!! ♥ If you have anything that you want to talk about, I’m always here to listen, and if you want, message me with your goal and let me know how you get on!!!
Keep smiling!! ♥ xx